Love Is Blind, the popular Netflix reality TV dating show, is in its seventh season. In this show, single men and women date in “pods” in which they can’t see each other, forcing them to form an emotional connection beyond looks. If they get engaged, they’re allowed to meet, take a vacation together, and then live together while they also plan their weddings.
Many viewers are describing this season as unusually messy and disappointing since some cast members have complicated relationship histories and others appear to be interested in securing fame instead of love. They're disappointed in Tyler's apparent decision to hide his children and furious at Stephen’s sleep-test scandal. They're confused about why so many couples are obviously incompatible. They're losing hope in the so-called experiment.
While our tendency is to go online and vent our frustration at individual contestants for acting like jerks or breaking our hearts, we should be focusing our anger on the show’s production team.
The Show Has a Casting Team
Love Is Blind, like all reality shows, has a dedicated casting team tasked with finding and vetting contestants. The show's creator has proclaimed how exhaustive this process is, noting that it includes background checks, psychological exams, and multiple references. Cast members who have spoken about the experience say it was lengthy and intensive.
Why, then, are people who shouldn’t be cast on the show still becoming participants?
It’s for one of two reasons, and neither is good: Either the show’s casting team is incompetent or the show is intentionally casting people who will create dramatic storylines.
Given the resources they can (and do) pour into casting, incompetence doesn’t seem likely. So then we must assume that producers are knowingly selecting people who have had restraining orders filed against them, are already in serious relationships, are clearly only interested in clout, or who have serious hurdles to clear before getting married—more than they can work through in a few weeks. They are choosing people who are easy to turn into villains, and they're doing so at the expense of other cast members who are there to find love.
A History of Choosing Drama Over Safety
I wrote about the shocking emotional abuse exhibited on Season 3 of Love Is Blind and how we should hold producers responsible for not intervening and supporting cast members. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the last time we've seen the show let its contestants down.
The Love Is Blind production team seems intent on ratcheting up the drama each season, even at the expense of cast members’ safety. This is where out outrage should be focused. How can they ask people to be emotionally open and vulnerable with strangers when those strangers are clearly unready or unavailable to be in a serious relationship? How can they make a contestant live with a new partner when they know it's likely emotionally and physically dangerous given the person's history of relationship aggression? (For the record, I'm not referring only to this season.)
If it means that one couple will have a surprising breakup that will make viewers emotional and lead to a flurry of articles and reels about the unexpected twist, the show seems more than willing to cast problematic, even unsafe, people.
It's the show’s responsibility to vet and protect cast members, and they have failed to do so many times. If they can’t figure out how to run a background check and effectively use all the psychological evaluations they conduct to select appropriate contestants, they shouldn’t be making a reality show.
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Don’t Get Angry at Cast Members
Too often, when people get upset about how someone acts on reality TV, they go to that person’s social media and vent their anger directly to them. This is the wrong approach.
I’m not defending individual contestants from this season, but rather, every single person who has been on a reality show. They are unprotected in an unregulated industry. Many cast members are promised a different experience. Many are assured they'll get a "good edit" if they go along with the producer's prompts. And while edits can make viewers believe falsehoods about contestants, the cast can’t speak out about what actually happened due to restrictive contracts and fear of a show pursuing legal action (which Love Is Blind has not been afraid to do).
Further, cast members are often “advised” on how to act and what to disclose (or hide). This is no big secret; many contestants have shared how they felt influenced or outright manipulated by their producers during filming. A producer, acting as a friend, might encourage someone to act in a way that will benefit the plot they’re trying to create. How, then, can we be so angry at cast members, who are essentially puppets in this orchestrated reality?
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Does It Matter if Your Partner Speaks Your Love Language? Instead of raging at individual cast members for their histories and actions, get angry at the show. Hold the creator, producers, and hosts responsible for casting failures and elevating drama at the expense of safety.
Reality dating shows require openness, vulnerability, and emotional risk. But they shouldn’t require risks to one’s safety or provide guaranteed heartbreak, especially not if the show in question is claiming its mission is to help people find love. I don't want to see the hosts skewer people on reunion episodes; I want to see cast members hold the hosts accountable for toying with people's emotions and lives.
So, let’s assume better of cast members and demand better from the people who create these shows.