Eleanor and Chidi from the Good Place Source: Screen Capture from The Good Place, NBC Has someone ever told you that you are just like a particular TV character? I once did an interview with a journalist who told me that people compared him to the character Chidi on The Good Place and that it really bothered him.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with The Good Place, it’s the story of a group of strangers who die and find out they’ve made it into “The Good Place,” which we assume is heaven. The Good Place is a comedy, but it also takes on some of life’s most meaningful and pressing questions, such as what it means to live a good life or to be a good person. It’s not surprising that it has won both Peabody and Hugo awards.
Two of the central characters are Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) and Chidi Anagonye (William Jackson Harper). Eleanor, sassy and self-centered, seems to be devoid of a moral compass, while Chidi, a nerdy ethics professor, is devoted to making all the “right choices.” Eleanor’s challenge is to become a better person. Chidi’s challenge is simply to learn how to make choices without drowning in uncertainty.
You’re Just Like That Guy
The journalist I mentioned, a young Black professional, told me that people often call him Chidi and it bothers him. He finds it irritating that people see this other smart, young, Black man and figure that all smart, young, Black men are pretty much alike. Also, he finds Chidi annoying, so the comparison is insulting to him.
At first, I was taken aback by his dislike of being compared to Chidi simply because I feel such a fondness for the character myself (more on that shortly). When we really love a character, we extend our sense of self into them, and an insult to that character throws us off balance (1, 2). Putting my own attachment to the character aside, I can see that a comparison to a character can hurt when it feels like a stereotype, even if the character also has redeeming qualities.
The journalist’s experience reminds me of a story depicted in an episode of Modern Love, where an Asian woman relates that in high school, the other kids called her Lucy Lui. Even though Lucy Lui is a smart, successful, attractive women, it still feels like an insult because it is like saying that there is only one kind of Asian woman … that “they’re all the same.”
When You See Yourself in a Character
Psychologists have given a good deal of thought to how audience members identify with story characters. We often write about how identifying with the character is a pathway to learning something from the story (see also Social Learning Theory by Albert Bandura). Identifying opens the door to empathy as well. Stories that make us feel for the characters actually give us practice empathizing in real life.
My own attachment to Chidi took me to a place that surprised me but also left me with more than I bargained for in a good way. As a nerdy professor, it wasn’t difficult at all for me to identify with Chidi. Maybe even more than his nerdiness and braininess (is that a word?), I fell in love with Chidi because of his utter devotion to treating other people well. We all like to think of ourselves as good people, but Chidi was absolutely devoted to doing the right thing. He was hardcore.
The part of the character that I did not like so much was his Achilles' heel: his indecisiveness. Chidi drives himself and other people crazy because he is pathologically incapable of making simple, everyday decisions. He can get lost in the pros and cons of each decision so much so that he can’t even order a meal in a restaurant. How can a smart person be so dumb? I realized that watching him get stuck, unable to make a choice, really bothered me each time it happened. I wanted to look away, it was so painful.
SPOILER ALERT!
After watching Chidi get stuck in the mud so many times, there came a pivotal moment for his character. The Good Place has elements of science fiction, and one such element is that the characters periodically get their memories wiped. At one point, Chidi knows that his memory is about to be wiped. He also knows that he loves Eleanor. He writes his future self a note, hoping to retain the most important thing that he’s learned so far. The note said, “There is no right answer. But Eleanor is the answer.”
Social Learning Theory Essential Reads
Why Are So Many Movies Basically the Same?
How the Corona Crisis Reveals the Power of Social Learning Chidi’s message to himself really moved me. Perhaps for the first time, I realized that I had been pushing away the fact that I saw Chidi’s fatal flaw in myself. No, it does not manifest in the same ways in my life. I can order off a menu without angst, and I don’t belabor which chair I am going to sit in. Still, I realized that it hurt so much to watch Chidi’s indecision because I have really acted like there is “a right answer” to many things in life.
I have invested a lot of energy thinking that it should be my goal to make “the right choice” at every turn. For example, I have often fretted over organizing my day to make sure I am making the most efficient use of my time. I have gotten so caught up in making my plans for the day “perfect,” that I end up irritating myself unnecessarily. I also can cut myself off from spontaneity because I think I need to play everything out in advance.
Now that I have opened up to seeing myself in Chidi’s trap of “make all the right choices,” I have been able to make real progress in letting go of that notion. Yes, it’s good to be organized and efficient. But there are times that you fall into the trap of finding “the right answer,” when there is no one right answer. The best answer is sometimes to wait and see how you feel when something happens.
These are just a couple of examples of how comparisons to characters can be problematic or helpful. Here’s hoping your favorite characters bring you to a good place.