Bias isn't Bad | Psychology Today

I was on a flight back home from Vermont and had the opportunity to speak to the passenger next to me regarding issues of race, ethnicity, and culture and I think he walked away with an invaluable lesson. In short, bias isn't bad or the same as racism.

He told me he was wary of offending me but wanted to also engage in a courageous conversation on this topic. Fortunately, the opportunity was there when I told him I was at the University of Vermont to speak on diversity issues.

Because he grew up in Missouri and had few relationships with Asian-Americans, he told me his initial perception was that I would have an accent. He apologized for it and was sincere in his attempt to process what this stereotype meant for him as a white man. He wondered, "Am I racist for thinking this?", "Am I a bad person for having this perception?", and ultimately "What do I do to grow from this experience?".

I reassured him he wasn't a racist for thinking I had an accent. I said racism would be one where someone knows Asian-Americans exist in the U.S. but acted or treated them as foreigners. I told him his perception is a constant identity struggle for many Asian-Americans since they are perceived as being the "perpetual foreigner" (i.e. being seen as a foreigner based on our ethnicity).

I also talked about institutional or systemic racism in the media, Hollywood, and other forms of mass media could be feeding into his unconscious or implicit bias. Since Asians have historically been portrayed with unflattering and stereotypical images of having an accent, that could be playing a significant role in his reflexive assumptions about Asian-Americans.

The other reality is, most people don't have the opportunity to live or work with Asians, Blacks, or Latinos. Without real relationships, it can be difficult to shake stereotypes unless they are challenged with courageous conversations and/or awareness of those outside the stereotypes.

I know for a fact if the passenger next to me spent some time in South Seattle where I grew up, not only would Asian stereotypes would be significantly challenged but also African-American ones.

The reason people think Asians must be foreigners, get straight A's, or are good at math is the same reason people assume African-Americans are thugs, drug-dealers, uneducated, or lazy. If you do not have "real relationships" with people other than yourself, how do you see the breadth of diversity within a culture without relying on stereotypes?

For myself, I can acknowledge I'm aware of all the various ethnic stereotypes surrounding me but having been raised in a predominantly Black/Asian neighborhood allows for a lot more flexibility. "What does this mean?", you ask. Well, while I may be aware of the existing stereotypes in my head (implicit bias), I do not let it sway my thinking or actions.

For example, I never assume an Asian-American fits into a stereotypical profession based on the Asian ethnicity because I've had the opportunity to meet many Asians from all walks of life whereas others with limited exposure might be more presumptuous. It's the presumption that offends; taking one stereotype and using that as your basis for all your current and future judgments about a certain ethnicity (also can apply to religion, sexual orientation, etc).

An Asian-on-Asian stereotype that might give Caucasians more insight and clarity into my point is the stereotype that Koreans are angry and Chinese are cheap. While stereotypes exist because there's a kernel of truth to them, it shouldn't be used as the the expectation for any one group. So when I meet someone Korean, it would be racist of me to assume he/she's got an anger issue and relate to him based on that assumption (i.e. being wary of his anger). Same thing if I met another Chinese person to assume he/she is going to be cheap and negatively treat him/her as a cheapskate.

Same goes with stereotypes against African-Americans. I would be acting racist if I started relating to them based on stereotypes. Speaking contemptuously to a Black man or woman based on a stereotype would be racist. Ignoring their requests in a retail or shopping environment based on a stereotype that he/she couldn't afford it would be racist.

Back to my fellow passenger, I knew he wasn't racist despite his assumption that I may have an accent. First off, he didn't use that bias and treat me like I was a foreigner. He also didn't carry what I call a "spirit of racism". Instead, his heart exuded compassion, empathy, and openness. So maybe that's the difference, what is in one's heart with their ethnic, racial, or religious stereotypes? Is it one of fear, judgement, and rigidity or is it one of flexibility, vulnerability, and humility? As I've come to learn over the years, "For who knows a person's thoughts except their own spirit within them?"